A man was driving home late at night. He was also driving above the speed
limit.  He noticed a police car [with its lights whirling] in his rear view
mirror. He says to himself, "I can outrun this guy."  He floors it and the
race is on. The cars are racing down the highway  --  70, 80, 90 miles an
hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy sighs aloud and gives
up.

He pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and
approaches the car.  He leans down and says, "Listen, mister.  I've had a
really lousy day and I just want to go home.  Give me a good excuse and
I'll let you go."  The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago,
my wife ran off with a police officer.  When I saw your cruiser in my rear
view mirror, I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give
her back to me!"

He drove home ticket free!