Me: Hello
AT&T: Hello, this is
AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: YES! This is AT&T,
may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
Me: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
Me: Ok, hold on.
At this point I put the phone
down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that,
surely, this person would
have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise,
when
I picked up the receiver,
they were still waiting.
Me: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron
Me: May I ask who is calling
please?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, is this Mr.
Byron?
Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: The phone company?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I thought you said this
was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes sir, we are
a phone company.
Me: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling
phones today Mr. Byron.
Me: Well whatever it is,
I'm really not interested but thanks
for calling.
When you are not interested
in something, I don't think you can express
yourself any plainer than
by saying "I'm really not interested", but this
lady was persistent.
AT&T: Mr. Byron we would
like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week, 365 days
a year.
Now, I am sure she meant she
was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute
but she at no time used the
word rate. I could clearly see that it was time
to whip out the trusty old
calculator and do a little ciphering.
Me: Now, thats 10 cents a
minute 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little
excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir
that's right! 24 hours a
day!
Me: 7 days a week?
AT&T: That's right.
Me: 365 days a year?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I am definitely interested
in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
Me: That's quite a sum of
money!
AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing
how it ads up.
Me: Ok, so will you send
me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for
the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?
Me: You know, the 10 cents
a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking
about?
Me: You said you'd give me
10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week, 365 days a year. That
comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and
$52,560 per year. I'm just
interested in knowing how you will be making
payment.
AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't
mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
Me: Wait a minute here!!!
Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute.
Are you sure this is AT&T?
AT&T: Well, yes this
is AT&T sir but......
Me: But nothing, how do you
figure that by saying that you'll give me 10
cents a minute that I'll
give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of
subliminal telemarketing
scheme? I've read about things like this in the
Enquirer you know. Don't
use your brainwashing techniques on me.
AT&T: No sir we are offering
10 cents a minute for.....
Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can
I speak to a supervisor please!
AT&T: Sir I don't think
that is necessary.
Me: Sure! You say that now!
What happens later?
AT&T: What?
Me: I insist on speaking
to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron.
Please hold.
So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:
Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
Me: Yeth?
Supervisor: I understand
you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a
minute program.
Me: I'd thish Ath Teeth &
Teeth?
Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure
is.
I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.
Me: No, actually I was just
waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
Supervisor: Ok, no problem,
I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
Me: Thank you.
I was on hold once again and
was getting really hungry. I needed to end
this conversation. Suddenly,
there was an aggravated but polite voice at
the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron,
I understand that you are interested in signing up
or our plan?
Me: Do you have that friends
and family thing because you can never have
enough friends and I'm an
only child and I'd really like to have a little
brother...
AT&T: (click)