It should look something like this:

 SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK SPACE
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM
ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM
2 TURTLE DOVES

 NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.

 2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain
detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the
software. Throw it away.

 3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-
inch floppy diskette or a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that
says:

LICENSING AGREEMENT:

 By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the
terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever
reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the
Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks
and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software
Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to
come to the user's home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as
the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it or leave it,
until death do us part, one nation >indivisible by the dawn's early light,...
finders keepers, losers weepers, ...

 4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of
child), please install this on my computer."

 5. If you have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the
appropriate drive, type SETUP" and press the Enter key.

 6. Turn the computer on, you idiot.

 7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.

 8. You will hear grinding and whirring noises for a while, after which the
following message should appear on your screen:

 The Installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be
the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you?  Choose one, and
be honest:

                           +-----+     +------+
                           | YES |     | SURE |
                           +-----+     +------+

 9. After you make your selection, you will hear grinding and whirring for
a very long time while the installation program does who knows what is
in there.
Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so
that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an
entirely new device, such as a food processor.

 At the very least, the installation program will create many new
directories, sub-directories, and sub-sub-directories on your hard
drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names
like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha.."

 10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display
the following message:

          CONGRATULATIONS

The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your
computer and has grown bored. You may now attempt to run your software. If
you experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of
breath, nasal discharge, or intestinal parasites, you should immediately
*!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$*^&

 11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than
the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with
furniture.

 12. Call the toll-free Tech Support Hotline # listed on the package and
wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a
clear, step- by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.