An ad on the subway in NYC:
"Learn to read and speak English.
Call us now."

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An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist:
"Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."

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Sign over a restroom in a restaurant:
"Used beer department."

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Comparative customs:

In front of flat in London:
"It is unlawfull to allow your pets to foul
the footways by depositing excrement thereon."

In New York:
"Curb your dog."

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On a store front in Florida:
"Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor.
Drive through open 24 hours!"

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A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey:
"Smile, You're on Radar!"

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In a bathroom stall at a college athletic facility:
"Please place tampons and sanitary napkins in trash
recepticle.  Do not flush down stool."

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Seen in a State Park in California:

"Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope)
Check the Rock.
If it's wet, it's raining.
If it's moving, it's windy.
If you can't see it, it's foggy.
If rock is gone, it's a tornado."

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Seen on a sign on a hamster cage at a pet store
in an Austin, Texas, Mall:
"Hamsters: $6.97
Children Who Fall In: $2.88"