Open up MS Word 97
1) Type in the phrase "Unable to get Viagra" without the quotes.
2) Highlight the phrase
3) Go to the tools menu
4) Click on thesaurus (under Language)
The option the system gives you as a replacement phrase is rather amusing,
although I cannot see it coming up often in professional correspondence.
Alternatively, (same result) try "unable to follow directions"
Repeat above with the phrase:
"I hate Bill Gates"
That one is also amusing.
Also try:
"I'd like to see Bill Gates dead"