Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in
The Act.

Before Dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims
"Oh, boy! Horsie ride!  Daddy, can I ride on your back?"

Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable
questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.

Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town.
Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.

Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy!  This is the part where
me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
 

-----------------------------------
 

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces
to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the
class  and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school
the following Monday.

On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the
beach? "

Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class,
"How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer.

Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he
would somehow  answer  the question and get a 3 day weekend.

So Thursday night, Johnny takes  two ping-pong balls
and paints them black.

The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag.
 At the end of the day, just when the teacher says,
"Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to
the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front
of the room.  Because they are young kids who find any
disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.
 

The teacher says, "Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says,
"Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!"

---------------------------
Little Johnny And The Worm
Little Johnny and his grandfather are raking leaves in the
yard.

Little Johnny sees an earthworm trying to get back
into its hole.

He  says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that
hole."

The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you
can't.  It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

Little Johnny runs  into the house and comes back out with a can of hair
spray.
He sprays  the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board.

Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands Johnny five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs
into the house.

Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands Johnny
another five  dollars.

Johnny says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."
The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."