A True Story

A True Story
~~~~~~~~~~
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home
recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of
Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep
and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of
ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he
realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on
his mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to
use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and
there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard
drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew
it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer
who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the
year 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster
in which all the computers get together and distribute Gates.
(It's true -- I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from
BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disneyworld
vacation, Nike sneakers and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail
to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report
his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he
got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped
a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."  Luckily he was
only a few blocks from the hospital-the one, actually,
where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose
last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and
the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for
every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them
was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get
it and forward it to twenty people you will have good luck but
ten people will only have OK luck and if you send it to less than
ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway
the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the
way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on.
To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot
as part of a gang initiation.
And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused
the Dark Ages.