1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same
outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective
if your boss is of a different gender than you.)
3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them
only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry,
but I'm goingto have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly
what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as
much since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive
liquid. Call everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge
to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole
way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell
people you're waiting for your document.
9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything,
ask them if they want fries with that.
10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in
an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to
settle the disagreement.
11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
chair-dancing.
12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or
cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining
that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got
to be faster than that."
15) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone
has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.