Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an
'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden
to steal hotel towels please. If you are not
a person
to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift
is being fixed for the next day. During that time
we regret
that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not
enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move
the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the
cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a
number
of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically
by national
order.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please
leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors
are expected to complain at the office between the
hours
of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening
of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are
invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox
monastery:
You are
welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian
and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily
except
Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to
perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose
in the
boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines
leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad
a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings
in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose;
beef rashers
beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Outside a Hong Kong tailer shop:
Ladies
may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your
trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses
for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order
your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute
customers
in strict rotation.
From the Soviet Weekly:
There
will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet
Republic
painters and sculptors. These were executed over
the past
two years.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is
strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
that people
of different sex, for instance, men and women,
live together
in one tent unless they are married with each
other
for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because
of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the
opposite
sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the
lobby
be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth
extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies,
leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having
a good time.
In a Czechoslovakin tourist agency:
Take one
of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would
you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special
today -- no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is
forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed
as a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special
cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take
your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this
is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies
are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please
do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food,
give it
to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist
in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager
has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons
cost more than common, but you'll find they are
best in
the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a
hotel air conditioner:
Cooles
and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your
room,
please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger
of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet
him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
your passage
then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Mojorcan shop entrance:
- English
well speaking
- Here
speeching American.