their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise
  to be gentle. I am still a virgin."  This puzzled the groom, since
  after12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would
  have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the
  phenomenon.

       She responded: "My first husband was a Sales Representative who
spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's gonna
be great!'

      My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite
sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me
       documentation.

      My third husband was from Field Services and constantly said
that  everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn't get the
system up.

       My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply
said, 'Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.'

       My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department and said
that he had the orders, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to
be able to deliver.

       My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood
the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and
design a new state-of-the-art method.

       My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. His
comments were that he knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether it was
  his job.

       My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations and told me
that he was up to the standards but that regulations said nothing
about how  to do it.

       My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. He said, 'I know I
have the product. I'm just not sure how to position it.'

       My tenth husband was a psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to
do was talk about it.

      My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted
to do  was look at it.

      My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted
to  do  was -- God I miss him!

       So now I have married a lawyer, so I know I'm going to get
screwed."