The details of the arrangement are still being hammered out, but early
negotiations have Men taking breasts. Women have agreed in principle
to
watch ESPN but have refused to give up self-respect. There are
also
serious antitrust issues that will need to be resolved.
A spokesman for Men, Bob, said that Men had been trying for years to
merge
with Women and that this was the culmination of a long-held
dream for
them. Women were unavailable for comment.
---
ROME, May 30, 2305 (Religious News Service) -- After several eons of
discord and competition for the souls of Humanicorp, God and
Satan have
decided to merge in a deal that will join heaven and hell.
"Some say I've made a deal with the Devil," said God, who appeared
simultaneously on CNN, Fox News, the major networks and all radios
and
personal computers, as well as in the sky. "But I prefer to think
of this
as two former adversaries setting aside differences for the good
of
consumers."
Those close to the delicate negotiations said that God would be chairman
of
the combined company and that Satan would hold the post of president.
Merger talks broke off several centuries ago, in part because the
executives could not reach an agreement on who would run a combined
company.
Reminded of his famous rebuff of God at that time, "Better to reign
in hell
than serve in heaven," Satan joked, "I take it back."
Satan's old organization, whose name is Legion, does not plan any layoffs.