Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had
a Klingon Programmer
12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors
if I am to do battle with this code!"
10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in
the original Klingon."
9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your
skull!"
8) "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software
'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers
and quality assurance people in it's wake."
7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments'
- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle
the weak."
5) "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
contest. They will not concern us again."
4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"
3) "By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family.
Prepare to die!"
2) "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where
you stand!"
1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it!
Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"
Posted for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to real
persons or
situations is entirely coincidental. If you are a Klingon
and are offended,
so what's it to ya, fellah?
Richard Crowley