A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo,
and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a
whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained
or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast
as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass.
Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake
of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first.

Thus, regular consumption of booze helps eliminate the weaker
cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link
between all-weekend parties and job-related performance.  It also
explains why, after a few short years of leaving university and getting
married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new
graduates. Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious
alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they
achieved during their university years.

So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge
we should not shutter ourselves in our homes.  Get back into those bars!
DRINK that Drink.  Your family and country need you to be at your peak, and
you shouldn't deny yourself the Absolut career that you could have.

Take life by the bottle, drink,  and be all that you can be!