#1
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided
to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally
able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other
patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right
now*,
she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just
as
threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' "The
silence was
deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
stopped
what they were doing!
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank
with
my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the
door closed
behind me were screams of laughter"
#2
"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living
at home,
but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. "As we lay
in bed after
making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I
suggested to
my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone.
Since we
didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly
came on
and a whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!' My entire
family -
aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were
standing
there! My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state
of shock and
embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party
again."
#3
One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come
upon
in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at
a
discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned
that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her
embarrassment
when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the
store
to hear: "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That
was
bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom:
"DO
YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU
POUND IN
WITH A HAMMER?"
#4
I've got a great one for you. When I was back in high school
I had a
date one Saturday night with a Methodist preachers daughter.
The
reason we were going out was because she had this great body and was
known to be one of the best kissers in the school. I came over
to
pick her up and the parents escorted me into the living room while
she
finished getting ready. In those days, most of the homes had
picture
windows (bay windows) in the living room. We were sitting there
talking, me, the preacher and his wife when she entered the room in
a
pair of tight bell bottom hip huggers and a tube top. She had
beautiful breasts, which were by all standards rather good size for
her age. She bent over to pick up her purse and low and behold,....
one fell out of her tube top!
Not wanting the evening to be canceled I quickly thought of something
and stated to the preacher and his wife, "Look, out in the yard".
Much to my dismay when the preacher and his wife turned to look out
the window, and my date re-inserted her breast into the tube top, out
in the front yard were two dogs FUCKING! We still went out and had
one
of the best times of our lives; but damn was I embarrased!
And we never went out again!