Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today,
the 26th of December. Well, I would very much
like to clear up certain things that have occurred since
the
beginning of the month!
(While filled with illusion I wrote you this
letter) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set,a pair of
roller
blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying
the whole
year! Not only was I the first in my class,
but I had thebest grades in the whole school. I'm
not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in
my
entire neighborhood that behaved better than me.
With my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my
neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross
the
street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity!
WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING
YO-YO, A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR
OF SOCKS! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING,
YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH, THAT YOU'VE
TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING
YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE
THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T
FUCKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT
LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY
FUCKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK
INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE!
PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR
BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY
CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! "I'LL FUCK YOU UP!"
I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS
REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK
AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR
BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE
I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET
ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!!
YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FUCK YOU!! NEXT YEAR
YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD
I CAN REALLY FUCKING BE...YOU'VE BEEN
SLEEPING ON A MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO LONG!
SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT BITCH!
Sincerely,
Johnny