After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and
a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the
children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.  At
last she threw a  towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings.  As she left the room, she
heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice,  "Who was *that*?"
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Two little boys were visiting their grandfather, and he took them to a
restaurant for lunch. They couldn't make up their minds about what they
wanted to eat. Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said,
"Just bring them bread and water."  One of the little boys looked up and
quavered, "Can I have ketchup on it?"
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A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers
and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."
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A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like:
"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony.  We picked wild
raspberries in the woods."  The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this
in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how
you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how
are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked.  "I don't know," she replied.  "I can't read."
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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for
me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
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A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming
quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her
grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin
Mary or the King James Virgin?"
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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.  They were
ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell
her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou
shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
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