DISABLED ROBBER SUES
A man walked into a bank and demanded money. The teller asked, "You
want
that in a bag?"
The somewhat deaf robber yelled back, "You're darn right I have a gun!"
Realizing the robber was hard-of-hearing, the clerk rang the alarm.
The
police showed up and arrested the confused robber. He's now suing
the bank
for taking advantage of his disability.
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IF AT FIRST...
Police in Fort Collins, CO, charged Steven E. Peterson, 32, with robbing
the same 7-Eleven twice in one day, telling the clerk after the second
holdup that he would be back in a few hours to rob the place a third
time.
True to his word, he returned and was arrested by detectives still
in the
store investigating the second robbery.
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JUDGE TAKES PITY ON CRIMINAL
A judge in Louisville decided a jury went "a little bit too far" in
recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted
of five
robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to
1,001 years.
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ROBBER BOUNCES INTO LONGER SENTENCE
A Texan convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages
rather than serve a two-year prison sentence. For payment, he provided
the
court a forged check. He got his prison term back, plus eight
more years.
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BURGLAR ROBS RECENTLY VACATED DWELLING
When Edmond James Ramos was charged with first-degree burglary in Los
Angeles for breaking into an occupied dwelling, his lawyer appealed.
He
argued that because the only occupant had died of
natural causes mere minutes before Ramos broke in, legally the residence
was unoccupied. An appeals court agreed and threw out the charge.
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SPATULA-WIELDING EMPLOYEES
A man who tried to rob Hungry Howie's Pizza in Ferndale, Michigan was
pounced on by spatula- weilding employees.
“They beat me with their
spatulas," the crook complained to the police.
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"I SHOULD HAVE BLOWN YOUR [expletive] HEAD OFF!"
Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of an Oklahoma City
convenience store when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney
Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending
himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber.
Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying, and then said, "I should
have
blown your [expletive] head off."
The defendant paused, then quickly
added, "if I'd been the one that was there."
The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year
sentence.
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DOES THAT MEAN ME?
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
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"THIS IZ A STIKKUP"
It seems a man wanting to rob a downtown San Francisco Bank of America
walked into the branch and wrote "This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny
in
this bag."
While standing in line waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America
and
crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo
teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that
he was
not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
she could not accept his stick up note because it was written on a
Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left Wells Fargo.
The
Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few
minutes later as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of America.