1) Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and
     then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
     2) If it's really a "rush job," run in and interrupt me every 10
     minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps.
     3) Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It
     gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
     4) If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't
     open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a
     paraplegic and opening doors is good training.
     5) If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is
     the priority. Let me guess.
     6) Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really
     have nowhere to go or anything to do.
     7) If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that
     could cost me a promotion.
     8) If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be
     popular in conversation.
     9) If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them
     down. If fact, save them until the job is almost done.
     10) Never introduce me to the people you're with. When you refer
     to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
     11) Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could
     really change your life.
     12) Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and
     it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.