Bob pulled over like a good citizen; recalling Rodney King and recent
illegal alien incidents.

The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were
going BOY?!?"

Bob thought for a second and asked, "Uhhh, over 55?"

"93mph son!  93mph in a 55 zone!"

"But if you already knew," replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?"

Ignoring Bob, the officer continued, in his normal charming fashion,
"That's speeding and your getting a ticket and a fine!" The cop took
a good look at the Bob and said, "You don't even look like you have
a job! Why,... I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"

Bob recanted, "I've got a job! I have a good, well paying job!"

The cop leaned in the window, and with the smell of day old donuts
on his breath, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?!?"

"I'm an asshole stretcher!!!" replied Bob.

"What you say, BOY?!?" asked the patrolman.

"I'm an asshole stretcher!!!"

Of course the cop asked, "What does an asshole stretcher do?"

Bob explained, " People call me up and say they want to be stretched,
so I go over there and start with a couple of fingers, then a couple
more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I pull them farther and
farther apart until it's six feet across."

The cop, absorbed with the images in his mind, let down his guard
and asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole ?"

Bob nonchalantly commented...

"You give it a radar detector and stick it at the end of a bridge!