A proper man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her  for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not  have  any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check  and   mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR  APARTMENT."     On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that  the   whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a  check   for $250 and enclosed the following note:

Dear Madam,   Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment.
I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the   apartment, I was under
the impression that:

1) it had never been occupied;
2) that there was plenty of heat;
3) that is was small enough to make me cozy and at home.

Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied,   that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.  Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for   $250.00 with the following note:
 
 

Dear Sir:
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment  to   remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of  it, if you know how to turn it on.
Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the landlady.