Dear Madam, Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for
rent of your apartment.
I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the
apartment, I was under
the impression that:
1) it had never been occupied;
2) that there was plenty of heat;
3) that is was small enough to make me cozy and at home.
Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied,
that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large. Upon
receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for
$250.00 with the following note:
Dear Sir:
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment
to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is
plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if
you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the landlady.