True Story: worst first date

This was on the Jay Leno show on 9-7-99. Jay went into the audience to
find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.  The winner
described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no
question as to why her tale took the prize!



She said it was mid-winter...snowing and quite cold, and the guy had
taken her skiing.  It was a day trip (no overnight). They were
strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but
relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were
driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize
that she should not have had that extra latte apres-ski.


They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the
middle of nowhere.  Her companion suggested she should try to hold
it, which she did for awhile. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow
and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better
stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of
his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her ski
pants down and started.

Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let
her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.  Her companion
stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.  All she could think
about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
nature of the situation.


Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks


were firmly glued against the car's fender.  Thoughts of tongues frozen
to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage
her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a
brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and
yet aware of the humor in it, she answered her date's concerns about
"what was taking so long" with a reply that, indeed, she was "freezing her butt
off and needed some assistance!" He came around the car as she tried to
cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into
his eyes, he burst out laughing.  She too, got the giggles and when they 
finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with
a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.  Thinking about what had gotten
her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that
there was only one way to get her free -- so, as she looked the other way, her
first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
Rescue accomplished, they returned to the car, although for the
remainder of the trip home there wasn't much conversation and apparently, despite
their "intimate encounter", the two did not see one another again.


As for the Tonight show...she took the prize hands down ....or perhaps
that should be "pants down". True story.